Embarking on a teaching adventure..

Our flyer for the new space!! Can't wait for the new year! Full schedule of classes and our first experience running our own studio! Let that Divine Spark shine...

Clear Minded

Sometimes it hurts to be sarcastic, actually most of the time it hurts. What are people afraid of?
What have I been afraid of?

Its a hardening habit to shake and it must be done. It creates confusion and disillusion, and no one wants that.

Give me the strength to realize my dreams.

puta madre!

Day one down of my cleanse. 11 more to go?

Home

Today is my last free class at Corepower Yoga (new students get the first week free!). I was skeptical of Corepower at first, but I must say that I've learned a lot from taking classes there. My plan is to take the next couple of weeks to really explore the yoga community of San Diego. So I will spend one week at each studio and try to experience as many teachers as possible. I'm having the time of my life. Everyday is an adventure and a learning experience, everyday I become more connected to people and to myself. There are obstacles to conquer with each breath, but I am amazed at the amount of energy I've been bottling up inside. I have enough strength to do just about all the postures I feared.

The most exciting part about studying at new studios is that I'm not really there. I'm practicing from a different part inside me, practicing from the heart, and the heart resides at the Chula Vista Yoga Center. I can feel it radiate from within me, like a beacon of light.

And so it begins

Today marks the last day of yoga teacher training and the first day of a journey without a destination. Heavy stuff. I will never forget all of the amazing experiences that I've encountered on the path of self realization. Namaste!!!

late night

I started this drawing for a friend of mine who is thinking about getting a robin tattoo on her shoulder. I had her in mind, but I also had Liam Finn on the brain as well. Music has so much influence on my drawings.

I drew this sweet little guy for my sister and I'm happy to say that it has been used as a cover up for a tattoo she has of her ex boyfriend's name. At last!!

The other night I was trying to figure out what to draw and my friend Lou suggested I draw us, and this is what came out. Everyone seems to like it, but I'm not quite sure how I feel about it yet. I think it's missing something, I may add a little ink wash to the background to make it feel grounded.

I gathered a few friends at a local boba tea house tonight for a drawing session, and I started this portrait. I'm very pleased with it so far, even though things are a little off, but hopefully I will ink the rest soon.

I'm up late. I left my friend Carrie's house with the intention of going right to sleep, but I'm feeling very inspired so I thought I'd do a little art update. I've been getting down with the illustrations and loving it, but I'm going to try to really dive into painting over the next few weeks. I've been asked to enter a piece into a group show for Dia De Los Muertos, so I'm definitely looking forward to that.

It feels funny to be up so late. For the last 6 weeks I've been going up to bed at about 10 or as early as 9 every night and getting up at 6:30. I love it, I love getting up early in the morning, but for some reason it feels really good to be up right now. I feel mischievous and young, like those high school days where I would stay up and draw and listen to records.

I found myself feeling lonely earlier even though I was in the presence of good friends and now that I am by my lonesome I can feel them here with me. There's no reason to be lonely, just alone.

asteya

Today is the last day of my "required" yoga sessions. 66 yoga classes in 6 weeks, leaving 2 more 4 hour theory classes (or circle time as we like to call them) out of 20. It's been more than I could ever ask for, life truly is beautiful when you lead it from the heart. There's no other way!! I can't imagine a life better than this, I really can't. When life is full of love, humility and compassion, only good things will arise.

I am completely stoked for my yoga family and myself to start our new lives. We will be bringing something unique, energizing, introspective, creative and fun to the yoga community where ever we end up, and it will always be with love. Love love love love.

With this training I now have the confidence to pursue art on a different level, before it was for recognition because I never felt good enough just being myself. I felt like I had to have something to show for, some sort of fame. Now I realize that I cannot be anything but who I truly am, and I am more than enough. I'm working on creating a body of work, paintings and illustrations, participating in group shows and in time will be pursuing a career in the tattoo industry.

All the while yoga will be there. I will develop my practice to its fullest and try my hardest to show people my heart and help them find peace of mind through breath.

Time moves fast & time moves slow

Day 33

Yoga teacher training is nearing its end, and I'm amazed at how many opportunities are coming my way. Now I just have to figure out what to do. Give SDSU another try and enroll in painting? Take off to Hawaii and volunteer on an organic farm? Apprentice at FSG tattoo? Take off to Portland? whatever I decide to do, I will live it wholeheartedly, and it will be filled with love and union through yogic teachings.

Mantras to live by:
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground on which I stand."

"Nothing is permanent except impermanence."

Training is so much more than I had previously imagined. I knew I wanted it, and I knew I could not live without it. I thank God that in this life I was brought to the yoga center by energetic forces and have discovered my true nature. I cannot describe how incredibly strong our circle is, I'm blessed to have such an awesome yoga family, and I'm totally stoked to know that they will always have my back in matters of teaching, friendship and family.

listening to fleet foxes

I've just eaten a backyard banana (thanks ken!) with raw almond butter, a nectarine and my green smoothie. I am ready to take on the world!

We've gotta grow

I've been eating raw for a little over a week and its completely amazing. I was a very conscious eater to begin with, but this just brings everything to a new level. Live foods are so beautiful, so delicious and so good for the body and mind. I feel at peace. Teacher training is going so well, I have found my voice, and have already begun to help others through the practice of yoga, the practice of life.

On another note, Awesome Fest is this weekend and I am so stoked to see RVIVR, Screaming Females and Cheap Girls! I highly doubted I would get to see any of those bands, last time Screaming Females came through I think I was sick and very upset about it. Its gonna be incredibly fun, my first show being sober! I don't even care that I'm not gonna be drunk cause with music this good all I need to do is sing along.

when lyrics spell out your every emotion

NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO LIFE SURROUND YOU/NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO DEATH SURROUNDS/AS TIME IT SPEEDS AND SLOWS/YOUR GUTS THEY ACHE FROM THE CHANGE/YOU FEAR YOU’VE LOST CONTROL/CUZ NOTHING EVER STAYS THE SAME/AND THEN AN OLD FRIEND SANG TO ME/”WE GOTTA FIND SOME ENERGY”/TO BALANCE IN BETWEEN/BEING REAL AND BEING FREE/RAIN DOWN SOME CHANGE ON ME/FLOW THRU ME LIKE A STREAM/LIGHT FIRE ‘NEATH MY FEET/BALANCE ME IN BETWEEN/WHEN YOU CAN’T GET WHAT YOU WANT/WHEN YOU FORGET HOW TO BREATHE/HANDS NUMB YOU GRIND YOUR TEETH/GIRL THAT AIN’T WHAT YOU NEED!/AS TIME IT SPEEDS AND SLOWS/LIFE SURROUNDS YOU/YOU FEAR YOU’VE LOST CONTROL AS DEATH SURROUNDS YOU/HOW DOES IT END?/I THINK YOU ALREADY KNOW/WE GOTTA GROW/WE GOTTA GO

Right now.. this moment.. I'm totally pooped.

Day 6

One week down of YTT, this is just the beginning. Yesterday was a day to remember, I've never felt so much love, so much energy, I've never felt so vulnerable yet so accepted at the same time. It was confusing, it was new, it was frustrating, it was a challenge. Life is challenging.

Wholeness

Today has been an emotional break through.

Waiting for tomorrow.

Day 1

Low

Its times like these that I wish I had someone to share my bed with.

introspect

Alright no more guys for me.. for a while. Painting, reading, yoga, self discovery is what I need. Too many emotions to count these days. Mantra for the day: "My body craves consistency; my mind craves change".
This weekend was really fun and new and exciting, i'm feeling super lazy because of it. A lot of late nights and early mornings, a lot of driving; and at some point it was a bit of a let down on a personal note but also a wake up call. Everyone is doing their own thing, living their own life. It's really my time to set out and create the world I want to live in.

Changes.

My perceptions of life and myself are constantly evolving. I'm moving forward into a new state of mind. Bringing the mat into my mind and using the practice to spring my beliefs into action. From frustration and struggle one can find inner peace and solace. The powers of envisioning.

I feel so hard and angry. Someone touching me the wrong way sends a little angry jolt into my body, my niece that is very loud and aggressive drives me nuts. I feel as though my friend carrie is constantly pointing things out about me for the world to notice, the things that i don't like about me, the things I'm trying to improve on. Is everyone just being themselves and I'm stuck in this rut?

I feel like I don't know who I am, I'm just rambling through this life.. rambling on and on and on.. thinking contemplating remembering. I feel like I can't be myself cause I don't know who I am.
i feel i feel i feel i feel...

focus

I'm a jumble of mixed emotions today. I feel like I'm floating in a sea of fast food chains, pissed off tourists, cement freeways and trash. I've thrown myself completely off balance, excessive drinking & eating, not enough yoga ( its been 4 days ), not enough sleep. I'm due for a long good nap, and a break from my friends, a break from the world.

Three hours of tattooing meditative bliss

My little guy is filled in. I'm so proud, look at him all majestic, sweet little Bogie.

-Courtesy of Josh @ The Workshop in SD-

for all moments in life

Oh asian kung-fu generation, even though i don't know
what your lyrics mean, they mean so much to me.

It has been an awkward day...

night of meditation

When I see couples together in public, it seems completely
surreal. It makes me wonder why people feel a need to
have a one on one connection. What makes us so dependent?

Even people who cheat and lie still feel the need to have
one person that they can share a relationship with that
they don't possess with anyone else.

What does that say about humans as a whole?

rainy days at work, cozy beds at home, midnight movies with friends.

Been thinking a lot lately.. pfft like always. I love the spot I'm at
right now- creating strong friendships with people, experiencing
new things everyday, observing and living day to day- not
waiting for things to happen. I'm in the now, not the past- not
the future.

It feels amazing.

New friendships are where its at. Feeling content is where its at.
Lying on this bed listening to new music is where its at.

interesting evening

From the events and conversation of last night I have come to the conclusion that conventional relationships are too restrictive, they ask and expect too much of a person. Maybe thats what makes people go crazy in relationships, the lack of freedom and the guilt. Society expects us to be someone's one and only love and their best friend.


If only it were that simple.

Eliminate cheating, be in love, still have the freedom to see other people. But it all gets complicated. Feelings for other people arise, maybe a child is conceived, jealousy.... yeah. Be unattached.

You're bound to get hurt.
Everyone is at sometime whether you're monogamous or not.

beer drinking and deep thinking

My perceptions of life have been changing so greatly as of the last few months. I'm surprising myself as to the things I aspire to do. I deeply want to explore other cities, to be out of my element. I've lived in the same place all my life I'd really like to feel some culture shock & live somewhere green and lush, where it rains often and perhaps where breweries abound. Guess you could say I yearn to experience things I've never experienced before.

I've been finding comfort in the thought of being married and having kids, & if you've known me for the last few years, thats a big wtf? in my book. My whole way of thinking has been flipped upside down. It's a great feeling, a genuine feeling. I'm open to new experiences, I'm not scared to change my mind because I have nothing to lose. A great weight has been lifted off of my chest and I feel rather daring..

San Francisco, Portland or Seattle.
We'll see.

epic sketchbook post

My illustration teachers suggested that the class watch 'The Holy Mountian' by Alejandro Jodorowsky & this image of a squid being pulled from a tumor stuck in my mind. I love it, it's an awesome metaphor, and makes me think of releasing the darkness and brutality within.

I'm super stoked on this unicycle drawing, well I'm super stoked about all of these drawings, but this one most of all. It's the first page in my new sketchbook and I love unicycles, I've always wanted one & I will have one..someday!

Inspired by Laura Stevenson & the Can's song 'The Pretty one'

Tibetan skulls are a common image within the tattoo industry & my friend JT wants to get one on his inner arm and a hanya mask on the opposite arm. Well he inspired me to draw this & its still a work in progress. I'd like to do something in the background incorporating swirling black and grey clouds and maybe cherry blossom petals, I was just so excited about the mask that I completely negelected the background, so foolish! Beginner drawing mistake number one! I know better..

Inspired by the Heather's song 'Remember When'. Music influences my life so much, I just sketched something out the other day illustrating how an Asian Kung-Fu Generation song makes me feel when I listen to it. I think it's really neat to see music in a 2d form.

I drew this for my friend Sean the other night when my illustration class got canceled. I went to his cafe intent on drawing but i couldn't think of a damn thing to draw, so he told me an idea he had for a tattoo & i sketched it out. He loved it so much that he's going to use it as a logo for his band Old Wives Tale. I love drawing for other people, especially ideas for tattoos, it's completely awesome to be able to illustrate ideas just the way they were imagining them.

I made a very big decision the other day, and I've decided that if I don't get into SDSU in the fall that i'm going to ditch going to school for painting and goto a naturopathic medicine school in Oregon or Washington. I've been working towards going to a university for art for such a long time that I was really afraid to change my mind about it, but this doesn't mean it will be over. I will always be able to paint and draw and even be in galleries. I just want to be happy.. "Happiness is my religion". I also would like to do something that really benefits people not just create visual art & put tattoos on people's bodies.

most days feel like an epic battle

Feeling very contemplative. Life and its mysteries, I tell ya its a bitch sometimes.

Alright im actually going to post something.

My latest work! The whale was a gift for my best friend Danielle, she loves whales, and we decided to get matching whale tattoos after I gave her the painting.

The little guy will be filled in soon. I'm going to keep it black & grey so it will match the black & grey phonograph below it. I decided to name him Bogie, Danielle named her's Humphrey and I couldn't resist having a play on Humphrey Bogart, which will probably be a joke that only I will understand.

I really need to start painting more, the time to get serious and transfer schools is coming near. I've been doing a lot of sweet pen & ink illustrations and will hopefully get around to posting them.